BLOGGING IS SCARY AS SH*T
Umm…why tho?
The answer is pretty basic: It’s scary because it means being vulnerable.
Being vulnerable with myself at times can be hard enough, so thinking about doing it publicly with strangers is… not necessarily my version of comfortable. Especially when I very much subscribe to Joan Didion’s sentiment,
“I don’t know what I think until I write it down.”
YES. I have never really considered myself a writer, but I’ve always liked the act writing and how it seems to help me get my shit together just a little bit faster. To-do lists, chicken-scratch Post-Its, quick iPhone Notes etc etc etc…
I started my journey with creativity early-on and unknowingly. Ever since I can remember, I’ve just simply loved art. Looking at it, studying it, defending it. But mostly: making it. And now I see writing was there the whole way.
Many - and I really should say MOST - of my writings (whether it be old blog posts, journals/notebooks) have ended in the trash bin. (I suppose this where Burn This After Writing has seen so much success… damn, I wish I had thought of that one). Another thing I am reminded of in this struggle is rooted in the classic creative dilemma: the “This is Shit/I am Shit/This is Awesome” sequence that so many of us in the industry have heard and related to. Right now I’m at the ‘This is Awesome’ stage about writing, though soon enough it will be back to ‘This is Shit’ stage (creatives spend a lot of our time here), and then shortly thereafter I will revisit the dreaded ‘I Am Shit’ phase (where all ideas, creative or not, go to die).
In Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Conner, the author believes that journaling is a gateway to connect with the “Voice of wisdom within.” All you have to do is set an intention before writing, and show up everyday to hear what it has to say.
My intention is this: get through the word-vomit-brain-swirlies, deal with any unresolved shit that comes up, and reach that stellar creative space where great ideas reside and gesyer into reality.
I believe, as artists, we are already vulnerable in some kind of innate way. Baring our creations includes baring our souls. People might not know what they are getting, (and hell, you might not even be sure what you’re putting out there ... or worse... revealing) but the reality is this: to not pursue our work - our dreams - is worse than the alternative, or whether the creation ends up being a “success” or not.
Glennon Doyle Melton, one of my favorite women writers and modern badasses said,
“If you feel something calling you to dance or write or paint or sing, please refuse to worry about whether you’re good enough. Just do it. Be generous. Offer a gift to the world that no one else can offer: yourself.”
That really is the power of art. It’s all one big paradox, and there’s no right answer (or, let me put it better: there’s no wrong answer) It’s emotional, It’s raw, it’s honest, it’s vulnerable… it’s scary. It’s both of-the-times and completely timeless. The real ones know it’s not pretentious.
It’s about sticking to your craft diligently, because you love and care for it, so you give it what it deserves. It’s a gray area, a mix of black and white and all the colors of the rainbow. It’s where we find our individuality and, at the exact same time, ascend beyond our silly humanness.
I leave you with this:
“Pure creativity is better than a necessity… it’s the frosting.”
—Elizabeth Gilbert
XO, Meg
